Maybe I Could Open You Up
March 16, 2008I’m in a very awkward position (oh stop it). I really wish things could be different. I wish I could say everything that’s on my mind and not be afraid of what you say, why you say it, and whether or not you’re being honest. I wish we didn’t have to hide things. And I’m gonna come right out and say that I wish you weren’t already taken. But I can’t change any of those things and I never will be able to. The most important bothersome thing is that I can’t say what I mean. Almost every time that I respond with “Nothing” it’s really something, and you know that. But I can’t say anything. I can’t say anything because it’s not my place to say it, I’m frightened of your response and, once again, whether or not that response will be an honest one.
I feel like the immature teenager who’s falling for someone she doesn’t deserve, and that things are happening for different reasons on either side. I feel like an idiot when I talk lately. I feel useless in a sense. I feel like I’m trying for no reason. It’s all a big mess and I don’t know how to make it better.
