Certain Responsibility

I know hardly anything about your relationship. From what you tell me, there’s not a lot to enjoy. But i’m sure that impression I get is wrong. You love each other and you’ve made three from two. What’s better than that?

I know that as a man, you need that physical aspect to be there. In a way, the physicality (or lack thereof) could very possibly dominate the relationship. In your situation, it’s driven you to search for it somewhere else.

In my mind, a spouse has a responsibilty to do everything in their power to make the other happy. That’s a part of love. This is one reason I don’t understand her reasoning. Personally, if that’s what was asked of me, I wouldn’t hesitate. To please my spouse would be satisfaction enough. So why doesn’t she feel that need?

All i’m trying to say is that if it were me, things would be different.

Jumble.

I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it. Today I was just watching you teach and all I could think was that there’s no doubt in my mind of how I feel. Here’s some more reasons: You’re so sure of yourself. You don’t try to be something you’re not. I like the way you think. You listen to me. You love what you do. You can read me, you get me.

I smile just looking at you. It’s this kind of uncontrollable smile that I’m not familiar with. It doesn’t happen that often, but when I look at you I just can’t help it. I try to hide it, but I just can’t. It’s physically impossible for me to refrain. It’s the way you look at me, it’s the way I feel about you, the fact that you feel similarly. It all overjoys me. You overjoy me.

It breaks my heart hearing you tell her you love her. A lot of things break my heart. Boo-hoo for me. I’m trying to deal, but it’s not doing much for me. I’m not so sure you realize how much this whole thing hurts. Let me repeat, for emphasis…I’m not so sure you realize how much this whole thing hurts. It seems to get worse each day. It’s making me physically sick. There is one thing that is gonna hurt worse though — not having you in at least some little part of my life. That will be the hardest of all, at least for a little while. I’m sure I’ll recover.

One last thing. The “what ifs” running through my mind drive me INSANE more than anything.

Some Things You Already Know…And Some You Might Not

I love you.

I wish things were different.

I cry just thinking about the situation.

I’ve daydreamed up some pretty impossible scenarios.

You have the most gorgeous eyes in the world.

I love your reactions to the things I tell you.

I really appreciate how helpful you’ve been.

I love how tall and skinny you are.

I wish you weren’t already taken.

She’s amazingly lucky.

They both are.

I can truly be myself around you.

I cherish that.

I miss you all the time.

Like right now.

I love being able to see you every day (almost).

I wish I could get you to talk more.

I like it when you talk.

I like it when you talk about things that matter.

This won’t last.

It won’t end pretty.

I’m right and you know it.

I’ve proof-read this too many times.

I love you.